Move, B*tch!

On this beautiful day, Kia woke up determined to put an end to life as she’d known it.  She was a Senior in High School and she still found it hard to make eye contact with the opposite sex. Whenever a dude would ask her for something as simple as a pencil or even look her way the blood from her face would drain, turn into bodily fluids and come out from the lower part of her anatomy. To say she was still a virgin was simply an understatement–if that was even possible.  If there was anything more pure than a virgin then that was definitely her.

On the long the list of things that she hasn’t done thus far in her life, things having to do with the opposite sex was embarrassingly long.  Never looked a boy in the eyes, never had a conversation with a boy, never kissed a boy never even held a boy’s hand.  It was just all around pathetic and she was sick of being the only socially awkward girl in town.  Today, that was going to change.

This past weekend her cousin Lexy came by for a visit and if Kia felt like crap about herself before, she definitely felt worst after Lexy’s visit. The girls were only born one month apart and were more like sisters than cousins but due to the fact that Uncle Leroy had to move his family across town two months ago when he got that better job at the factory, the girls weren’t able to see each other as often as they used to. But, dang how much could have changed in just two months?

Apparently, every frickin’ thing.

Looking at Lexy used to be like looking in the mirror, but now it was like being Gretchen from Trolls looking at Barbie.  Kia could not believe her cousin’s transformation.  Oh, the betrayal.

Lexy walked different, talked different, she even dressed different and wore lip gloss! And when did she get boobs? Or that…big butt?

Kia’s mood the whole weekend was this . 

Lexy had a “whole boyfriend” as she put it, and gave Kia some pointers on how to get one herself and while Kia sat there trying to figure out if a “half boyfriend” meant a boyfriend with half a body, Lexy laid some heavy stuff on her.

“You’ll fuck around and be that old lady with twenty cats and cobwebs in her pussy if you don’t glow up soon, sis.”

And when the heck did Lexy start using foul language? So many questions, and not enough answers.  Kia was overwhelmed.

By the end of the visit, Lexy had taught Kia everything she knew about boys and how life worked and even decided to let Kia have all of the clothes in her over night bag. She told her to consider it a gift and while Kia appreciated it, she felt like a fish out of water. What the heck was she supposed to do with this stuff? The pants looked like a second layer of skin on her and the shirts were a too revealing for her taste. But then again, if she wanted to avoid being the cat lady, she was going to have to get used to this stuff.  Out with the “old lady attire” as Lexy called it and in with the “sexy sexy-me gear”

Looking at herself in the mirror before she left for school that morning, Kia inhaled and exhaled sharply. She was really going to do this. She couldn’t believe that she was really going to do this.

Walking the distance to school, she was aware of the stares she was getting and almost decided to marry the guy who delivered her first very first cat call but then she remembered what Lexy said, “be cool, and don’t let them see that their words effect you” so Kia tried her best to stifle her grin and keep her glee at bay.

Standing across the street from her school she saw the one reason why she often woke up to drenched panties in the morning.  Brandon Brown stood laughing with his group of friends then her heart stopped when he looked directly at her.  Her eyes darted to the spot on the ground at her feet–force of habit–and she felt herself having what she assumed was an on-coming panic attack.

Sneaking a glance upward, her knees began to wobble under her weight as she saw him walking towards her. She was sure she was going  to collapse and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get herself to move!

Glancing up again she saw his lips moving but couldn’t for the life of her understand what he was saying.  His dark brown eyes seemingly pierced into her flesh she wasn’t sure if she remembered how to breathe.  She was feeling a little lightheaded.

Suddenly he was inches from her body waving his hand at her.  Brandon Brown was Waving at Kia Howard! Oh, she could die happy now.  She sheepishly waved back and willed herself to relax. She gulped and straightened her back and looked into his eyes, trying her best to get a grip and understand the words he was saying but the romantic slow motion music that played in the background in her head muted his words.  She blinked and all she could hear was the honking of horns drowning out his words.

She blinked again and the honking got louder.

And louder.

And louder.

She was finally able to make out what he was saying,

“Yo! Move the fuck out of the way!”

She was confused.  Why was he yelling at her?  She finally gets his attention and the first thing he does is yell at her?  Talk about a turn off.

“Bitch, move! I’ll run you over I swear, I’m not afraid to go to jail!”

looking to her left, Kia saw a deranged woman in one of those red convertible type cars and behind that car was a long line of other cars and angry people and in front of her Brandon continued to yell something about being naked in the middle of the street.

Confused, she looked down and….

Her clothes were nowhere to be found.

Kia had never so much as uttered a curse word in her entire life but in this very moment she was rattled beyond disbelief, humiliated, horrified.  Why was this happening to her? Covering herself with her hands she yelled out,

“What the FUUUUUU–”

The annoying honking sound of her alarm clock jolted Kia upright.  Pulling the covers up she was relieved that she had her flannel pajamas on and that it had all been just a dream.

On this beautiful day, Kia decided it wasn’t going to be the day she would “glow up.” Maybe tomorrow.

via Daily Prompt: Honk

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