The strength to let go

 

He was a big guy with a tough outer appearance who obviously had a rough childhood.  His rugged looks had been the only thing that kept bad company away but on the inside he longed for someone to call his own.

But when he finally found someone who looked beyond his surface and deep into his heart, someone who would finally be his own, he didn’t know how to fully let himself trust her.  He couldn’t let her in.

It is true when they say that hurt people, hurt people because that’s exactly what he did. He threw daggers into her heart over and over and each time she would simply pull it out and smile through her tears and pain just to let him know that she wasn’t going to go anywhere.  Still, his childhood had him hardwired into believing that true love didn’t really exist and people would only stick with you until they found something new.

After years of being broken down and burned by this man she finally picked up the shattered pieces of her heart that lay in his wake and walked out the door and made a vow to never look back.

her strength was infused with anger and exhaustion, she could no longer take the uncertainty that came with trying to build a future with a man who seemingly did not want to.  She could no longer find it within herself to believe his words when he would tell her he loved her because his actions showed otherwise.

Through the years she’d lost herself trying to love a man who was incapable of loving and accepting love.  She took in her surroundings and swallowed against the bile that was building up within the pit of her stomach.  She was angry that her efforts were unappreciated, afraid that she was too damaged to love again.  Will she now be the one to hurt another?

This would be her first time facing the world alone and she didn’t think she could.  She wrestled with the option of turning back around and going back to something more familiar even if that meant she would have to endure more pain and heartache but the small resilient voice in the back of her mind persuaded her to put one foot before the other and keep going forward.

She didn’t know where she was going to go, didn’t know what she was going to do but she did know she deserved to be happy so she made happiness her destination.  She was determined to heal and when the time was right she would love again.

via Daily Prompt: Infuse

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Author: DeafinitelyJBox

There is more to me than what meets the eye. On the surface you'll see that I am a mom, and a wife. I might make you laugh a few times, you might notice my hearing aids but you'll never know exactly what I am thinking--and believe me, I think....A LOT. Working on breaking my filter!

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